25th, April 2025

Black Lawyer
Apr 25
2 min read

Entry Title: Blink If He’s Lying

Filed Under: Perjury, Pettiness & Penmanship

Dearest Diary,

Today’s entry comes from an anonymous submission, though if you ask me, the story itself screamed its own name in bold, italicized betrayal.

It began, as many legal tragedies do, with a man and a lie.

The husband, confident as a man who'd just watched a YouTube video on sovereign citizenship, insisted his divorce was final—signed, sealed, and filed.

He proudly waved the decree before the court, claiming the wife “had no objections” and had signed it herself.

And then, she arrived.

Not with drama—but with dignity so divine it silenced the gallery.

She entered the courtroom in a wheelchair, neck brace secured, gown pressed, eyes like daggers dipped in grace.

Pushed slowly by her new boyfriend—a man whose arms suggested he carried more than burdens, and possibly emotional baggage with a side of vengeance.

She could not speak.

She could not move.

She communicated entirely by blinking.

Once for yes.Twice for no.

And just like that, the courtroom transformed into a live-action polygraph test.

The judge, clearly rethinking his life choices, leaned forward and asked,“Ma’am, did you sign this decree?”

Blink. Blink.

“No?”

Blink. Blink.

The stenographer stopped typing.

Opposing counsel—whose hairline had been steadily receding since lunch—whispered to the husband, who promptly began sweating through his department-store suit.

“Did you give your husband permission to file this on your behalf?”

Blink. Blink.

“Did you know he even filed it?”Blink. Blink.

And finally—my personal favorite:“Do you believe your husband forged your signature?”

Blink.

The courtroom gasped.

Somewhere in the back row, a woman clutched her handbag as if it was the only grip on things she could muster.

The husband tried to object. The judge overruled with the speed and ferocity of a man who’s seen this level of foolishness before his morning tea.

A handwriting expert was summoned. The decree? Forged.

In the final moments, the judge peered over his glasses and said,

“Sir, I don’t know what’s worse—that you tried to fake her signature, or that you thought the truth wouldn’t find a way to speak.”

Some people testify with words.

Others use blinking, dignity, and divine retribution in heels.

Let it be known: When the body is silent, the truth will still speak—sometimes one blink at a time.

I remain, as ever— Watchful. Witty. Legally Weaponized.

Disclaimer:This entry is a fictionalized satire. Any resemblance to actual people, events, or lawsuits is entirely coincidental—but not impossible.

Tag someone who’d still catch you lying—without saying a word.